If you'd really knew me you’d know that i'm not happy, at all. It's partially because of my shitty family life. I’ve never felt so bad about myself, I’m so depressed so sick and tired. I’m trying to hide it and ignore my pain but it’s been way too out of control. Also you’d know drugs has been the only thing I currently live for. If I could leave everything behind, trust me I would. People call me a whore, I pretend that it doesn’t hurt, but it really does. What hurts the most is that no one really knows what has happened to me. The first time I ever had sex, it wasn’t my choice. I only stayed with him because I really loved him. I knew you for barely a year, and half of that time you treated me like shit. So why the fuck can’t i forget you? And you know ... I am just a depressed girl who cuts herself in the bathroom when she gets pissed, who cries herself to sleep when she’s had a rough day, and who needs someone desperatley to hold her tight and tell her to hang in there. I want sympathy, I want attention, because I feel like I’m some girl on the sidelines who watches everyone else in my life bloom. I feel like everyone else is better than me, and everyone else probably is. I’m a religious girl, but there are times when I doubt and think that God hate me because I wanted to kill myself. My friends don’t understand my depression, they don’t understand me, and to be honest, I seriously don’t think they care. They all just take it as a joke. I’m sick and tired of the shit I call my life. I want to be happy for once. I want to love someone, and I want someone to love me. When’s that gonna happen? When I can feel normal againI can’t do this anymore. Nobody can save me. I am so far gone I can’t even save myself. I hate all of you. All of you. You’re fake and stupid. At first i was scared i’d turn out the same, but i couldn’t reach your level of pathetic even if i tried. I hate seeing all of you every day so much that it makes me want to kill myself, and to be perfectly honest, i’ve considered buying a gun and shooting all of you.
